This was the worst Bourne Identity movie so far. I was so excited to see Matt Damon play Jason Bourne again but this movie was disappointing. There was hardly any action or violence in this movie, the only thing that dies in this movie is a lion and Jason Bourne tried to save it! Everyone knows that Jason Bourne has no problem killing stuff, back in the day he would have killed that lion with his hands. The next Bourne movie better be called We Bought Our Balls Back and he kills the zoo inspector.
Ricky Gervais (creator of The Office and a bunch of other British TV shows) sat down the top 3 best comedians in the world, Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock, and Louis C.K. and they discuss the art of stand-up comedy. This is a show for stand-up comedy nerds, not for people who just thought the show Seinfeld was funny. This isn’t 3 comedians doing their bits, it’s 3 comic geniuses discussing their craft. It’s a fascinating look at the intricacies of comedy and how comedians view the world. It’s also extremely entertaining to watch Ricky Gervais make a complete fool of himself, it’s mind blowing that Gervais thinks his opinion of comedy is the equivalent to the other 3 guys’. Several times in the show Jerry, Louis, and Chris subtly remind Gervais that he has no idea what he’s talking about. Ricky Gervais needs to stick to writing and producing and leave stand-up to the experts.
I watched Justin Bieber’s movie Never Say Never and to my surprise it wasn’t nearly as bad as I expected. Bieber seems like a nice enough kid, although he’s incredibly overrated. The whole movie I found myself delighted by Justin’s childish mischief and enjoying the movie UNTIL that sea cow Miley Cyrus showed up. You may be asking yourself “Why is Miley Cyrus a sea cow?”, the answer is simple, because she’s ugly, talent less, and too stupid to get out of the way of a boats propeller. I used to believe that every life was valuable until I discovered Miley Cyrus. Hey Billy Ray, the next time you get someone pregnant I’ll pay for the abortion, consider it my gift to humanity. If I had the chance to stop Hitler or Miley Cyrus from being born I would choose Miley, sorry Jews.
The beautiful Miss Ali Decker asked me to watch Glee and review it, so here it is;
After watching 2 episodes of Glee I was jealous of Helen Keller, I hated it, I would rather go to dinner with Dane Cook than watch another episode. The only word that appropriately describes what I saw is shit, pure, unadulterated shit (if you’re offended by my use of profanity then prepare to have the real world chew you up and spit you out). The entire show is just a bunch of people that are obviously in their 20’s pretending to be in high school. 90% of the time I couldn’t tell if they were making an awkward joke or being sincere. It was the gayest thing I have ever seen, and I’ve watched 2 grown men wrestle naked in a shower. This show is more detrimental to the gay rights movement than Flava Flav is to the civil rights movement. At one point I found myself hoping that the show would take a dark turn and all the kids would get AIDS.